Spiritual Fire

As the summer begins to come to a close, the realization that I will be back on campus mingling with my peers and constantly studying is beginning to hit me. I reflect on my previous year and try to think of what I can change and improve on in my junior year of college. My sophomore year was a spiritual challenge. My faith was challenged and questioned in many ways that I wasn't prepared for. I strived to make people happy, instead of myself. I questioned my own beliefs and danced in fire when it came to my moral rights and wrongs. It was challenging, tiring, draining, consuming and overwhelming. This summer I had the chance to submerge myself in a world of reflection - self reflection & peer reflection.

"Some burn up in the fire. Others are refined by it."

It's a choice to either be consumed by the fire or refined by the fire. I chose to be refined but I was still scorched. My heart singed. Arms seared. The process to reach this point was long and treacherous path. To be honest, I'm not even sure if the process is finished. But what I do know is I've learned. I learned that:

• In the process of discovering yourself, many people will see it as not knowing yourself. 
• Having a support system that uplifts you instead of bringing you down is crucial. I definitely had a strong support system but I didn't use them. I turned to the wrong group of people for the soul quenching advice that I needed.

• Live for me. Not who others want me to be. But for me.
• I relied too much on other's people perception. In the end, I am the one who has to speak on my decisions and choices.

• If it doesn't make you happy, leave it.
• It can be defined as friends, a job, a major or a hobbies. When I found myself more worried about what is said when I leave the room than what was said in the room. I was made conscious of the fact that I depended too much on someone else's approval. I gave the power of my happiness to someone else.

•  As much as I fight to fit in, the harder the resistance.
• I learned that everything that I see or even want might not be meant for me. Sophomore year I definitely think I tried to hard to fit in. But if you are reading this and also struggling with fitting in the mold, realize that you were set apart. You were not meant to fit in. You are a divergent, having no limits or mold because you were meant to stand out. 

With all that being said, I have so much more to learn. My curiosity about different topics in never ending. My mistakes are unique to me, in the fact that they are mine. I own them, I'm aware of them but I constantly am improving. In a world that promotes so many different viewpoints, I will strive to continue living the way that I believe is meant for me. Following Christ.

"I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me" 

Who am I?

A question so many have asked. I haven't been able to answer this question until now. Yes, it took me pretty much all of 2014 in order throughly defined myself.
I recently read a post that I really liked and thought fit me pretty well:

"She is a paradox, she is faithful yet detached. She is committed and yet relaxed. She loves everyone, and yet no one. She is sociable but also a loner. She is gentle yet tough. She is passionate but can also be platonic. In short, she is predicable in her unpredictability" 

Miss Jaylove came to be because I felt as if my mildly outspoken voice had one more thing it wanted to say. Here's a little of who I am:

• I consider myself an introverted extrovert (there's a paradox!). I love being around people, uplifting people, encouraging people and listening to people yet I like to be away from people because I become drained easily. I am more likely to spend my Friday and Saturday nights alone because it's a choice I chose to make and I enjoy being to myself. 
• I am very goal oriented and driven. So much so, that it's caused me to be more mature than a lot of my peers because I'm not willing to risk my dreams for temporary satisfaction. I'm one of those people whose dreams seem a bit unrealistic but then again I am one to keep my word. Everything I say I will do, will get done. 
• Ever since I was in high school, I was almost always characterized as "high maintenance". But I'm not I swear. I just have always been held to high standards and refuse to let myself fall short of that. And of course the word that follows high maintenance is a snob. I am not a snob at all! Promise. I definitely have my moments but I consider myself a very down to earth person and easy to talk to. 
• I am very straightforward and honest. I don't believe in lying to a person. My honesty can be one of my biggest weaknesses because some people really don't know how to handle it or respond to it. I just would want someone to give me the truth 100% of the time, so I'm going to give them that. 
• I have a very strong foundation in Christ. No matter how many times I may deviate from His teachings, I will always go back. That is something that I cannot be convinced to change because I am a product of His miracles. I will worship Him eternally. 
• I think this will be the biggest shock for people who know me and are reading this, I am a very emotional person because of how passionate I am. When I say emotional I am not talking about crying every minute. I actually hardly cry to be honest. Most people, including my immediate family, can count the number of times they've seen me cry. I deal with emotions inwardly. I will be in deep thought for a while, or you can just tell something is wrong because my attitude is shifted. People think I respond to things in the "I don't care matter" but everything is always very inward and sacred. You won't really know my reaction to an event until the event is completely over. 

But yeah, that's not everything but it's a quick look at who I am. I am always changing and growing but I have found that these attributes within myself don't change. Wishing you all a very Happy New Year! You were created with purpose and you are so loved!

Infinitely Infinite ∞

Hey dearly loved! 

So much has happened recently. I began my sophomore year about three weeks ago and so far I've loved each and every second of it. I have so many wonderful, positive people in my life. I am just infinitely blessed. Speaking of infinite, this is a question that I have to answer several times a month. So I thought it might be a good time to publicly address the question. Those who know me or have seen me, notice my abundance of infinity symbols. I have one around my neck as a necklace and another infinity symbol that I wear on my left hand, ring finger to be exact. They mean similar yet different things. Both were given to me by my Dad. The necklace around my neck represents the infinite love that I have for my family and my family has for me. It's a bond that can never be broken and that will always remain true to our family. Now the infinity symbol I wear on my left ring finger prompts many questions. It's not a promise ring for a nonexistent significant other but it's a promise ring to Christ. It's a promise to trust in Him throughout all of my trials and tribulations. It's a promise to wait until He tells me I'm ready. And it's also a vow of purity. To maintain pure relationships with those I come in contact with on a daily basis. A vow of sexual purity. And a vow to love people infinitely despite their mistakes. Because we are all human and all fall short of His glory. I've had my ring since I was young and it simply serves as a constant reminder of the Lord I serve. But this was short and simple. I hope you know you are SO loved. You are loved in a way you will never be able to understand, infinitely. God is infinite. Be blessed, for you are highly favored.

Here to love you to life,

Miss Jay Love

"The One" & Other Relationship Questions

To God's Most Special Creation/Beloved,

The other day, one of the girls who I mentor asked me a series of questions that I've encountered fairly often. So this post is a Q/A to those questions for her and to others who are curious to what I think and how my thoughts align with the Bible.

    1. Can I have sex with my boyfriend/girlfriend and God still love me?

 
  No and God will still love you. As the Bible states, it was God's purpose and intention for sex to be between a married women and married man. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." It does not say walk, jog but it says FLEE, run from, stay away, abstain from sexual immorality which comes in many forms but includes sex outside of marriage. Hebrews 13:4 it says "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." Again saying sex is meant for marriage. Along with the biblical view, my personal belief on why sex should only be in a marriage is because I think that sex creates a bond between two people that if it's not your spouse is not supposed to be there. Being in college, it's deemed as normal to engage in sexual activities but that's not what God has called for you at that season in your life. I also believe engaging in activities that come close to crossing the line IS crossing the line.There will be a time for that season. But God's love for you will always be unconditional and limitless.

   2. How do I identify if he/she is "The One"?

    Well first, there is no specific steps to ensure that the person you are interested in is indeed the right person but before any meeting, encounter or date I 1. Pray. I ask God to either shut the door or open the door right at this moment. And to my surprise I've actually been stood up after I said this prayer which only validates the fact that the door was closed. 2. Talk to the person. Establish a friendship before anything else. See if it's really the type of person you can see yourself with. Date with a purpose, with futuristic thinking. As Jefferson Bethke says "Dating without purpose is like going to a grocery store with no money. You either leave unhappy or take something that isn't yours." 3. Talk to your parents/mentors/guardians. As weird as this may be but my parents knew about each person that I talked to while in college. I told them of their successes/shortcomings. Parents have the amazing ability to see what's best for you before you will even realize it. Saving you valuable time that you could have wasted. 4. Pray again. Ask God what is the person's purpose in my life. How can we help each other and glorify Him? He will reveal to you whether or not that person is meant for you and He will make it clear to you.

   3. When will I know if he's/she's "The One"?

    You won't know until it happens. But to those who are believers, please do not think you have to date every Christian man/woman that comes your way. It's about peace, not a free meal ladies. Men, just because she looks perfect doesn't mean she is perfect. Don't be fooled by illusions, no one has it all together. 100% of the time there will be something that's wrong, internally. Whether it's fear, abandonment, anger there is some barrier that you have the choice of A) running from or B) breaking down and helping her become closer to God and establish a strong relationship with you (This goes for ladies as well). Ladies, there was a point in time where I thought any Christian guy would suffice BUT NO. Just because he's a Christian doesn't mean he's Christ-like. Your heart should be so deeply rooted in Christ that he has to go to Christ just to get your attention. Focus on what matters and the God will fulfill the desires of your heart.

   4. How do I change my guy/lady to seek Christ?

    Sorry to break it to you, but you can't. You, yourself and you can never change their heart only God can do that. You can encourage, you can ask but most importantly you have to get on your face in front of God and ask Him to do a miracle. In one of my past "talkationships"(not technically dating, it's a time where you are trying to get to know the person without being exclusive), everything was going so smoothly until church. Within the first thirty days of me getting to know someone, I invite them to church with me. It's an easy way to get rid of a guy who says He loves the Lord but doesn't have an active or actual relationship with Him. Anyway, I had asked him about a week in advance so he could clear his schedule if he had to. I had just been with him the night before, but sure enough the next morning his excuse was "I overslept" and "I'm so tired" followed with "I'm so sorry". Some people said I should have been more forgiving but why? It was something I looked forward to and needed but at the end of the day he had to go for other reasons besides that.

  5. What can I do to attract a good Christian man/women?

    I believe there is so many roads to success but you have to be in love with yourself and in love with Christ. You should be chasing Christ wholeheartedly and not even focused on that area until God tells you it's your season. As hard as it may seem, forced relationships turn into lost relationships. Take the time to work on you. Relationships are 100%/100%. Work on yourself and your relationship with Christ and when the time is right He will place your hand into your spouses. As the Bible states.. paraphrased.. What God calls together no man can separate. 

Again, live for Him not for them. Trust Him. He absolutely adores you and cherishes you. 
*** I opened an ask account. You are welcome to ask more questions there or in the comments below.www.ask.fm/askmissjaylove

HE > i

Beloveds!

So I'm alive! People who haven't heard from me in a while may or may not know that I made a decision to remove myself from all social media (Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter) in order to do some self reconstruction and improving. So I want to apologize to friends and family that have reached out to me using those sites and didn't receive a reply. I also want to thank the people who supported me and checked up on me when they realized I went ghost for a bit. But anyway, my decision to remove myself from social media came after many things were spiraling downward. I realize that my focus wasn't 100% on God but on everything else and everyone else. June 11th, I logged off all my accounts and deleted them from my phone. Now I'm sure some of you are like what's the big deal but those who know me or even this generation know that our phones are pretty much glued to our faces 24/7. We quench for the newest posts on Instagram, the Vine that makes your stomach hurt because of laughter, or the Aristotle like Facebook post that inspires you. I had a hunger for the wrong things. I was hungry for people's opinions, people's thoughts and people's approval. I stopped believing that God's approval, opinions and thoughts are all I needed. I needed to really realize who the Living Water and Bread of Life is. I knew it was time to change something when I felt dead inside. And as weird as that sounds thats basically the only way to describe it. I was numb. I didn't chase after Christ like I longed to. I chased after people, words and actions.
I heavily studied self worth along with my value. But most importantly I really tried to work on my communication skills. I am absolutely terrible at talking about my feelings. My feelings are suppressed almost 95% of the time. Because of my lack of communication when it comes to my feelings, really important people in my life left.  While this is still an ongoing progress, it's something that I strive to improve daily. For those people who remain in close contact with me and know me on a deeper level than most, please challenge me to continue improving in this area in my life.
But throughout this journey there are two things I learned:

1. Stop focusing on others thoughts. I had to stop living to impress but living to serve. Living for the One who died for me. My life comes through Christ. 1 John 5:21 "Dear children, keep yourself away from anything that might take God's place in your hearts." NLT. People's thoughts and opinions were becoming the focus of my life. I wanted the approval of people that didn't even matter because that's what made me feel complete. But my completion comes through Christ. I am whole because He is my center, my inner, my all. 
2. His will, not mine. So I'm a very detailed oriented person. Funny story: It takes me about 30 minutes to pack no matter how long the trip is to be honest. But I will pack about 3-4 days in advance even if it is just a weekend trip. I went on family trip and I was all pack. So detail oriented that I even had a journal of what I was wearing each day and to what event. While it's okay to have a plan for your life, you have to remember that you are not the pilot of the airplane. You really aren't even the co-pilot. You're a passenger to what God has in store for you. And His plans for your life will ALWAYS exceed the plans you could ever think of on your own. The best way someone put it to me was "Write your plans in pencil and give God the eraser."

His love and thoughts of you and for you are immeasurable. Live for Him, not for them. 

What Is My Worth?

Hey there Beloveds,

As some of you may know, I recently took a little leave of absence on social media (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter) in order to reconstruct or remodel myself. It was a moment to step back from the things that often cluttered my mind and consumed my time. If I can be totally transparent with you, I was examining my self worth. Now, I know my worth comes through Christ but I didn't believe it and didn't act as so. So I needed to repair that deep crack in my foundation (An ongoing project). To my ladies, we usually think we know our self worth or at least we feel good when we get over a hundred likes on Instagram, or a numerous number of retweets on Twitter or even multiple likes on our Facebook status. (I guess this could apply to men as well) But ladies, we definitely feel our self worth when that guy that you like is holding your hand while you walk the mall declaring to the world (Or at least you think so at the time) that he chose me, or he texts you first after you haven't spoken to him for a while, or he sends you flowers reminding you that you are important to him. Yes as females, we crave and desire that attention to be loved and valued. But your value cannot come from another broken human being who is also in need of a Savior. Your value can only come from the Savior himself. Continuing to be transparent, I am that person that will say "yeah my self worth comes from Christ ladedadeda" but as soon as a get that little bit of attention from a guy, I'm like "Oh hey! Him I want him God! Come on, it's perfect". Then I will think something is God-sent (Trust me on this, it's happened too many times) when really it was my selfish self choosing my own will. Even though I knew from the get go that I wouldn't be able to handle it. I can't give 100% of myself if I don't even value myself, I let others do it for me (This is a whole other blog topic... so I'm not gonna get into that). Ladies, Men and whoever else is reading, YOUR SELF WORTH CANNOT BE DEFINED BY ANYONE ON THIS EARTH. If you choose to let other people and things define your self worth you will be broken in more ways than you will ever imagine. It will destroy you. But know nothing is more powerful than knowing that you are valued by the God who spoke the world into existence. He made you perfect. In His image. And let's just be honest here for a second when you put your self worth into other things you're basically telling God you are not good enough to tell me my self worth. How can self worth come from the creation instead of the Creator? It took me a while to really realize that but I finally did. So to all my people struggling with realizing your self worth, you are important. You are valued. You are everything and a bag a chips to God. I'm praying for you ceaselessly and again know you are cherished.

Song of Solomon 4:7
"You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you."

Live for Him, not for them.. love y'all.

I Am F.L.A.W.E.D.

Hey there Beloveds,

It's been a while I know. But know that I am constantly praying for you. But something has been tugging at my spirit for quite a while now. Ever since an altercation with someone who will remained unnamed, I've been investigating the word hypocrite. As stated in the dictionary, a hypocrite is someone who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. 
Alright, so lets break this down. So in order to be a hypocrite, you must be pretending or in other words what you make seem real is in fact not real. In my case, I was being called a hypocrite when it came to my faith. So my relationship with Christ was named fake, false, phony. No one on this earth has the power to tell you that your relationship with Christ is fake. Please be advised that if someone is scrutinizing your relationship with Christ with a fine tooth comb is because they want the same relationship you have with Him. No one on this earth has liberty or authority to tell you what you feel with Him is fake. 1 John 2:27 (NLT) says, "But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true—it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ." So it's pretty clear, once the Holy Spirit dwells within you there is no reason to have to convince people what is true in your relationship. Stop fighting a fight that does not need to be fought.
Secondly, as Christians we will stumble, trip and whatever else but what make us different than the world is that we do not have to fall completely to the ground. God will catch us right before and He will dust our shoulders off, stand us up straight and guide us to move on. Psalms 37:24 "though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand." We will make mistakes and our actions may not line up directly to God's word all the time. But when we stumble and make mistakes (it's going to happen), God will correct us of them. We will not be down for long.
Lastly, before your flesh may feel the need to call people out for doing something "unchristian-like" reevaluate your own life. Matthew 7:3 says "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" and Romans 2:1 says "Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things." You can't sit and critique someone else's walk with Christ and actions when your own life could use some improvements. Don't be so quick to judge because at the end of the day, the same Christ who died for you also died for them. And would do it again and again and again, even it meant enduring the unimaginable pain.

So am I hypocrite? No. Am I flawed? Yes. I am :
Forgiven
Loved
Anointed
unWorthy
sErvant
Devoted

His love for you is unconditional