So I'm alive! People who haven't heard from me in a while may or may not know that I made a decision to remove myself from all social media (Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter) in order to do some self reconstruction and improving. So I want to apologize to friends and family that have reached out to me using those sites and didn't receive a reply. I also want to thank the people who supported me and checked up on me when they realized I went ghost for a bit. But anyway, my decision to remove myself from social media came after many things were spiraling downward. I realize that my focus wasn't 100% on God but on everything else and everyone else. June 11th, I logged off all my accounts and deleted them from my phone. Now I'm sure some of you are like what's the big deal but those who know me or even this generation know that our phones are pretty much glued to our faces 24/7. We quench for the newest posts on Instagram, the Vine that makes your stomach hurt because of laughter, or the Aristotle like Facebook post that inspires you. I had a hunger for the wrong things. I was hungry for people's opinions, people's thoughts and people's approval. I stopped believing that God's approval, opinions and thoughts are all I needed. I needed to really realize who the Living Water and Bread of Life is. I knew it was time to change something when I felt dead inside. And as weird as that sounds thats basically the only way to describe it. I was numb. I didn't chase after Christ like I longed to. I chased after people, words and actions.
I heavily studied self worth along with my value. But most importantly I really tried to work on my communication skills. I am absolutely terrible at talking about my feelings. My feelings are suppressed almost 95% of the time. Because of my lack of communication when it comes to my feelings, really important people in my life left. While this is still an ongoing progress, it's something that I strive to improve daily. For those people who remain in close contact with me and know me on a deeper level than most, please challenge me to continue improving in this area in my life.
But throughout this journey there are two things I learned:
I heavily studied self worth along with my value. But most importantly I really tried to work on my communication skills. I am absolutely terrible at talking about my feelings. My feelings are suppressed almost 95% of the time. Because of my lack of communication when it comes to my feelings, really important people in my life left. While this is still an ongoing progress, it's something that I strive to improve daily. For those people who remain in close contact with me and know me on a deeper level than most, please challenge me to continue improving in this area in my life.
But throughout this journey there are two things I learned:
- Stop focusing on others thoughts. I had to stop living to impress but living to serve. Living for the One who died for me. My life comes through Christ. 1 John 5:21 "Dear children, keep yourself away from anything that might take God's place in your hearts." NLT. People's thoughts and opinions were becoming the focus of my life. I wanted the approval of people that didn't even matter because that's what made me feel complete. But my completion comes through Christ. I am whole because He is my center, my inner, my all.
- His will, not mine. So I'm a very detailed oriented person. Funny story: It takes me about 30 minutes to pack no matter how long the trip is to be honest. But I will pack about 3-4 days in advance even if it is just a weekend trip. I went on family trip and I was all pack. So detail oriented that I even had a journal of what I was wearing each day and to what event. While it's okay to have a plan for your life, you have to remember that you are not the pilot of the airplane. You really aren't even the co-pilot. You're a passenger to what God has in store for you. And His plans for your life will ALWAYS exceed the plans you could ever think of on your own. The best way someone put it to me was "Write your plans in pencil and give God the eraser."
No comments:
Post a Comment