The other day, one of the girls who I mentor asked me a series of questions that I've encountered fairly often. So this post is a Q/A to those questions for her and to others who are curious to what I think and how my thoughts align with the Bible.
1. Can I have sex with my boyfriend/girlfriend and God still love me?
No and God will still love you. As the Bible states, it was God's purpose and intention for sex to be between a married women and married man. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." It does not say walk, jog but it says FLEE, run from, stay away, abstain from sexual immorality which comes in many forms but includes sex outside of marriage. Hebrews 13:4 it says "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." Again saying sex is meant for marriage. Along with the biblical view, my personal belief on why sex should only be in a marriage is because I think that sex creates a bond between two people that if it's not your spouse is not supposed to be there. Being in college, it's deemed as normal to engage in sexual activities but that's not what God has called for you at that season in your life. I also believe engaging in activities that come close to crossing the line IS crossing the line.There will be a time for that season. But God's love for you will always be unconditional and limitless.
2. How do I identify if he/she is "The One"?
Well first, there is no specific steps to ensure that the person you are interested in is indeed the right person but before any meeting, encounter or date I 1. Pray. I ask God to either shut the door or open the door right at this moment. And to my surprise I've actually been stood up after I said this prayer which only validates the fact that the door was closed. 2. Talk to the person. Establish a friendship before anything else. See if it's really the type of person you can see yourself with. Date with a purpose, with futuristic thinking. As Jefferson Bethke says "Dating without purpose is like going to a grocery store with no money. You either leave unhappy or take something that isn't yours." 3. Talk to your parents/mentors/guardians. As weird as this may be but my parents knew about each person that I talked to while in college. I told them of their successes/shortcomings. Parents have the amazing ability to see what's best for you before you will even realize it. Saving you valuable time that you could have wasted. 4. Pray again. Ask God what is the person's purpose in my life. How can we help each other and glorify Him? He will reveal to you whether or not that person is meant for you and He will make it clear to you.
3. When will I know if he's/she's "The One"?
You won't know until it happens. But to those who are believers, please do not think you have to date every Christian man/woman that comes your way. It's about peace, not a free meal ladies. Men, just because she looks perfect doesn't mean she is perfect. Don't be fooled by illusions, no one has it all together. 100% of the time there will be something that's wrong, internally. Whether it's fear, abandonment, anger there is some barrier that you have the choice of A) running from or B) breaking down and helping her become closer to God and establish a strong relationship with you (This goes for ladies as well). Ladies, there was a point in time where I thought any Christian guy would suffice BUT NO. Just because he's a Christian doesn't mean he's Christ-like. Your heart should be so deeply rooted in Christ that he has to go to Christ just to get your attention. Focus on what matters and the God will fulfill the desires of your heart.
4. How do I change my guy/lady to seek Christ?
Sorry to break it to you, but you can't. You, yourself and you can never change their heart only God can do that. You can encourage, you can ask but most importantly you have to get on your face in front of God and ask Him to do a miracle. In one of my past "talkationships"(not technically dating, it's a time where you are trying to get to know the person without being exclusive), everything was going so smoothly until church. Within the first thirty days of me getting to know someone, I invite them to church with me. It's an easy way to get rid of a guy who says He loves the Lord but doesn't have an active or actual relationship with Him. Anyway, I had asked him about a week in advance so he could clear his schedule if he had to. I had just been with him the night before, but sure enough the next morning his excuse was "I overslept" and "I'm so tired" followed with "I'm so sorry". Some people said I should have been more forgiving but why? It was something I looked forward to and needed but at the end of the day he had to go for other reasons besides that.
5. What can I do to attract a good Christian man/women?
I believe there is so many roads to success but you have to be in love with yourself and in love with Christ. You should be chasing Christ wholeheartedly and not even focused on that area until God tells you it's your season. As hard as it may seem, forced relationships turn into lost relationships. Take the time to work on you. Relationships are 100%/100%. Work on yourself and your relationship with Christ and when the time is right He will place your hand into your spouses. As the Bible states.. paraphrased.. What God calls together no man can separate.
*** I opened an ask account. You are welcome to ask more questions there or in the comments below.www.ask.fm/askmissjaylove
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